Love Divided By Five: New

New 

I’d spent most of 2004 trying to get over my ex boyfriend. After a 10 year love affair, I decided that it was time to kill the cycle.  I wanted to finish my master’s degree with no distractions. I had quit my job and focused on my thesis.  By August I was finished, graduated, and working a new job. I was happy with my life.  I learned to be on my own again.  Everything was so new to me and I had never felt so free in my life.  I regained that innocence I had lost from being with someone so long. I felt empowered.

One random day I was tootling around on the internet and came across this magical creature.  The vibes I got from his picture were short of astounding.  I am very into to vibes; how things feel, what do pictures tell you and the way people use words.  Reading his profile I gathered he was a little messed up (from the misspelled words), a little crazy (from the expression on his face), and the best friend you will ever have (from his personal quote).  So just for shits and giggles, I decided to email him to see if he would respond.  He was from Milwaukee and I thought just maybe he might be a great new friend to have. 

Email sent and I completely forgot about it. It wasn’t until I checked my email a few days later that I was reminded of it. He had answered—his name was Jacob, he thought I would cute and he wanted me to call him.  My soul felt warm the way it does when something good happen.  Everything said to go with this, so I did. I emailed him back and told him that my mom taught me well and a man should call me if he wants to court me. I gave him my number. The wait began.  I wondered what he was going to sound like. Was his voice gently and soft or deep and commanding?  Would he be sweet or would he have a bad boy streak? Meeting someone for the first time is also overwhelming.

He called when I was eating dinner. I remember it was a Tuesday because American Idol was on the screen.  It was a simple first conversation—all the pleasantries you exchange when you first speak to someone.  I can remember feeling a little devastated because he was not in Milwaukee at the time.  He told me he had moved to Washington D.C. just after the holidays to help his sister out and to possibly find a job.  All those feelings I had felt from his picture started to melt away.  In my mind I could see the petals falling from the tulips I had painted to represent the budding new relationship. I was so lost in my own thoughts I almost missed the most important line I would ever hear.

Right when I thought all hope was lost he said “but I would come back for you.” I didn’t know this man from Amos or Andy.  There was nothing about him at the time that would even make me think that he could say that to me.  I was kind of startled so I laughed.  I can remember telling him you are crazy, I could be a nutcase that just got out of the crazy house.  He laughed but stated he had a gut feeling, and you seem like someone I should have in my life. That made me smile. I’ve never met someone who was so eloquent.

Later that night we had a conversation that lasted for 8 hours. I could bore you with the details but I will tell you what was important.  I have never in my life met someone who I could just talk to, other than my mother.  The words rolled off my tongue as if I had waited 27 years say them. I’ve met someone who made me feel complete again. Our souls were on the decent of connecting. They danced along on a breeze not knowing where they would end up.  My mind attempted to take it all in, but it was just too much.

One week later, I drove to the airport.  I stood at the terminal and watch this person who I only knew in mind and soul walk towards me.  I felt a wave rush over me as if I was playing in the ocean attempting to catch a wave.  The water was warm on my face and I could feel the sun beating down on me. That is what love is like when it is new.  You are surrounded by the warmth of it and nothing can touch you.